The Analytical Tortoise

Review: 🎬Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) - A wickedly smart, darkly funny, and surprisingly heartfelt gem.    5 out of 5 There are films that flirt with genre conventions, and then there are films like Grosse Pointe Blank,  which seduce then, tie them up, and leave them laughing in the trunk of a car. This 1997 sleeper comedy is a rare cinematic cocktail: part romantic comedy, part action thriller, part existential crisis - a splash of satire all wrapped up as a rare but spectacular dark comedy. John Cusack, in what may be his most quintessentially Cusakian role, plays Martin Blank, a hitman suffering from a professional low-point and a personal reckoning. He returns to his hometown of Grosse Pointe, Michigan, for his high school reunion - and, incidentally, a contract killing. Cusack's performance is a masterclass in comedic timing and emotional detachment, delivering deadpan lines with the precision of a sniper and the soul of a poet. His chemistr...

Review: 🎬The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)  The Count of Monte Cristo (2002) – A Swashbuckling Tale of Vengeance with Soul  4 out of 5 There’s something refreshingly old-fashioned about The Count of Monte Cristo , a film that dares to embrace the grandeur of classic storytelling without irony or apology. Directed by Kevin Reynolds, this adaptation of Alexandre Dumas’ timeless novel is a throwback to the kind of adventure films Hollywood once made with regularity—pirates, betrayal, secret tunnels, and sweet, calculated revenge—all delivered with a straight face and a twinkle in the eye, and a little dry comedy to round out the experience. Jim Caviezel, as Edmond Dantès, brings a quiet intensity to the role. His transformation from naïve idealist to enigmatic Count is not just physical—though the beard, tailored suit and cape help—but emotional. Caviezel plays Dantès with a simmering restraint, allowing the character’s pain and resolve to unfold gradually, like a chess mast...

  Review:  🎬 About Time (2013)  Five by Five About Time (2013) - A Tender, Uplifting Film That Quietly Teaches Us How to find Happiness Richard Curtis's About Time is one of those rare films that manages to be both deeply profound and utterly delightful. It's a romantic comedy with the whimsy of science fiction, but it's also a meditation on mortality, regret, and the fleeting nature of time. And yet, through all its emotional weight, the film remains charming, warm, and gently uplifting, like a comforting hand on your shoulder. Tim (Domhnall Gleeson), an awkward young man with a heart full of hope, discovers that the men in his family can travel back in time. But this isn't a story about rewriting history-it's about rewriting perspective! Curtis uses time travel not as a plot gimmick, but as a lens through which we examine the choices we make, the people we love, and the moments we often overlook. What makes About Time  special and so remarkable is its a...

Building a Wood Pellet Kitty Litter Box Have you ever wanted to switch your cat from traditional clay litter to something more natural, sustainable and less messy (also less costly). What is Wood Litter Wood litter, often made from compressed sawdust or wood shavings (waste product from saw mills) is a natural alternative to traditional clay-based cat litter.  When exposed to moisture, the pellets turn back into soft sawdust, making it easy to sift and clean. This type of litter is traditionally used as horse bedding, it is biodegradable, low dust, and free from synthetic additives, making it a healthier choice for both cats and their owners. Additional benefits include , little to no waste as you only discard pellets that get wet, naturally absorbs odor, environmentally friendly as it uses a waste product and can be composted. How to get Wood Pellets Wood pellets are available at most pet stores at comparable costs to clay litter, however there are cheaper alternatives.  The ...

  Review:  🎬 Freakier Friday (2025) Freakier Friday (2025) - "A mother-daughter(s)-grandmother switch that tugs at why we loved the original"   3.5 out of 5 Freakier Friday picks up more than two decades after the 2003 hit, expanding the original’s simple mother–daughter switch into a dizzying four-way body swap that feels both nostalgically familiar and oddly overcomplicated. The sequel reunites widowed therapist Tess Coleman (Jamie Lee Curtis) and her now-adult daughter Anna Coleman (Lindsay Lohan) as Anna prepares to marry London restaurateur Eric Davies (Manny Jacinto). Their plans collide with teenage angst when Anna’s daughter Harper (Julia Butters) and Eric’s daughter Lily (Sophia Hammons) clash, setting the stage for a chaotic séance by a psychic (Vanessa Bayer) that swaps grandmother, mother, and both teens into each other’s bodies. Jamie Lee Curtis remains the film’s heart and engine, transforming Tess’s podcast-host persona into a frenetic frame fo...

  Review:  🎬 Live-Action How to Train Your Dragon (2025) How to Train Your Dragon (2025) - "A return to Berk, but it's true, you can never really go home again"     2 out of 5 stars Watching How to Train Your Dragon once more feels like greeting an old friend—until you realize the friend barely remembers who you are. Dean DeBlois returns to Berk with a live-action spectacle that dazzles the senses but leaves the spirit untouched. The film’s visual grandeur and state-of-the-art CGI invite us to glide alongside dragons in ways we’ve never seen, yet the emotional core feels strangely hollow. Cinematographer Bill Pope captures Berk’s rugged cliffs and storm-lashed shores with painterly precision. Every scale on Toothless gleams under moonlight, every fireball lights up the sky with visceral intensity. The CGI is nothing short of fantastic—dragons swoop, roar, and emote with uncanny realism, making it easy to forget you’re watching pixels rather than flesh and bo...